They say there is no place for little monkey in this town

They go, 'Why'd you have to get so hysterical?' 'Why'd you have to get, so fucking useless'

Photo: Anna Rosa Krau

I have been a bad little blogger recently; pre-occupation and lack of inspiration have lead to a lack of posts. About two and a half weeks until I go, the reality of leaving my friends and family indefinitely is starting to hit. Of course I'm still positive about leaving, it's time for adventures, but I have come to the realisation that once I get on that plane, my life in Melbourne is kind of...dead. I can come back, but it will never be the same. Okay, let's not get too philosophical at 10am on a Thursday.

I have officially finished work; today is my first day off, and I am thinking that I can't wait to work with kids again overseas. The next two weeks are going to be very enjoyable I suspect, frolicking in the city with friends and trying to spend peaceful time with the parentals. Today Flower is coming over to rid my closet of all the clothes and jewellery I can't take to Spain with me. Now I need to walk the dog to the optometrist to pick up the truckload of contact lenses I foolishly ordered, my whole case is going to be full of contacts.

I don't want to dissect everything today. I don't mean to pick you apart you see, but I can't help it.

Photo: Peter Guenzel

So here is the thing; I live in my dream world. Sometimes I get a bit lost and end up in Real World by mistake, it doesn't take me long to realise I am there; everything there seems so volatile and angry. So I go scampering off back to Dream World, but still, I'm slightly scarred from Real World and no longer fit properly in Dream World. Oh my god. What the hell am I talking about? Blame the fact that it's 7am and I am pumping myself full of caffeine for the work day ahead. But really...I don't want to be kicked out of Dream World, just yet!

..and you were there, and you were there, and you were there too! Where's toto? *manic laughter* coughcough.

ps. 25 days to go!

Just get out my face, leave me alone; no you can't have my number, cos I lost my phone.

Dear public transport nose-pickers,

If it is absolutely necessary for you to pick snot out of your nose on the trip home from work, please refrain from:

1. Rolling it around between your fingers.
2. Flicking it.
3. Wiping it on the seat next to you.

... and no, moron, that doesn’t mean you should eat it!

You're so cute when you're slurring your speech, but they're closing the bar and they want us to leave

Really important things I have done today:

1. Dyed my hair black.
2. Stocked up on contact lenses and Lucas' papaw ointment for Spain.
3. Walked the dog along the beach.
4. Laughed at tales of my friend's silly ex.
5. Watched a couple of Skins episodes from the good ole days.
6. Cleaned my bathroom, which looked as if I had murdered someone with black blood in it.
7. Oreos. Devoured.
8. Deleted all my music and photos from my parents' computer.
9. Sworn at photobucket in an extremely unladylike fashion.
10. Oreos...

....someone wave their magic motivation stick at me please. In a totally non-sus way.

I find it somewhat funny and silly that there is a style of dress called a 'bandage dress'. Baby that bandage (dress) brings out your assets. Oh, Doctor Love, wrap me up in that tight bandage (dress). Someone stop the sexiness; why don't they cut the crap and call it a 'bondage dress'? I think boredom has warped my brain.

Photo: Timothy Barnes

It hurts when it comes to your attention, you're inlove with the girl

One month to go. I am officially sick and tired of organising things, and over-analysing. I hate it when people say to an over-analysing person 'stop over-analysing things'; is that even possible?The other night I had a dream that Agyness Deyn saved my family and me from a bushfire with her boat. The end.

Photo: Jo Jankowski

I want to. I want to be someone else, so I'll explode.

Hi guys, I'm on the lookout for new blogs to read so if you have any suggestions let me know. Also, if anyone is interested in exchanging links leave a comment or send me an email :)

Photo: Ana Rosa Krau

Today at work I spent an unprofessional amount of time teaching the three year olds to say 'Party on Wayne, Party on Garth' to each other. I found it more entertaining than someone with a university degree should probably admit. Oh whatever, maturity doesn't come with degrees. Sometimes when I finish work, after having to be the mature one all day, I just want to throw a tanty, stamp my foot and scream 'NO!'

Lunchtime.
Child: More!!
Te: Sorry, I'm not going to respond to being asked like that.
Child: I want more, TE!
Te: 'I want more cheese, Te'....what?
Child: ....
Te: Plea...
Child: PLEASE! MORE CHEESE PLEASE. PLEASE MORE CHEESE!
Te: Certainly...

Same child a bit later..
Te: Don't tap me there, it hurts
Child: (attempts to pull my top down from the neck) let me see..boobies!
Te: No, no boobie sighting for you
Child: ..........please?

I'm so tired, of playing; playing with this bow and arrow

I've tried five different sentences to begin this post; I have deleted each one. Today I walked into the city and met A-strizzle for breakfast. It was super, even if my feet are rather sore. I don't feel like sharing many words today, but here are some photos of the walk and breakfast...

Photos: By me.

Having troubles telling how I feel, but I can dance dance dance

Today my Mother and I drove to a suburb North East of Melbourne called Eltham, we were there to check out a place called Montsalvat. It was founded in the 1930's and artists used to live and work on site; there are still private workshops there where artists practice and display their various crafts. Meh, enough of me! The website explains the place far more eloquently.

I suppose my Mother, being a Fine Arts student, wanted to give me an artistic cultural experience, but from the moment we arrived I was far more interested in the awesome old buildings- it's seriously old school. I could almost believe I was in Europe. Obviously other people think this way too because one of the buildings was used in the film Queen of the Damned, set in Glastonbury, England. I didn't realise this when I arrived though, so when I walked through a stone archway and found myself standing right where a scene from the movie was filmed I went into freak out mode. Oh my god, have I been here before? Why is it so familiar? Have I been here in a past life? I seem to remember something about Vampires...was I a vampire in my last life? Was I in a Vampire Movie? ...movies...vampires...Queen of the Damned! Ohhh, duh!

It was a really nice day and great to spend some quality time with my Mother before I leave. I took a few photos...okay, I took ninety. It was such a lovely sunny day, so I suppose you don't really get that 'vampire movie' feel.

That's a peacock...or the female version of a peacock...a peahen?

Photos: By me.

Fitting you with weapons in the form of words

Oh great. Want to look like you have gray hair? You simply need to accidently spray your hairline with 'airbrush' foundation.

The other night we had a date, and you showed up two hours late; although you hair was all in place, someone had smeared their lipstick on your face

Sometimes I wish you didn't read my blog, so that I could write about you. I could write about you anyway, but it would be too obvious. Fail.

Photo: Yelena Yemchuk

...and now you're probably wondering if this post is about you. That amuses me. Always at your expense.

Then I'll use that voice you find annoyin', and say something like "Yeah, intelligent input darlin', why don't you just have another beer then"

Oh how I wish it were pouring with rain outside, so I wouldn't feel so guilty for sitting around at home doing nothing today. Perhaps if I was religious I wouldn't be so bored. I could...go to confession, or whatever religious people do today. Eat fish? Bash themselves with bamboo? Someone enlighten me.

It's no secret that I love winter. All the gorgeous clothing- boots, jackets, scarves. I'm pretty much going to have two summers in a row this year, the Australian and then the Spanish. Yes, I know, poor poor me, eh? The Aussie summer has come to an end now, the days are slightly cooler and it's darker earlier. With the exception of those horrible and tragic few weeks of completely surreal heat, I have had a lovely Melbournian Summer; running riot in this gorgeous city of mine. So I thought I'd share some of my favourite summer Melbourne pastimes...

Wandering the city streets

Treasure and oh so much trash, at Camberwell Market

LL&B at the Rooftop Bar

Iced coffee at Greenhouse

Cupcakes on Degraves

Browsing Lost and Found

The Belgian Beer Garden

All photos by me.

Do I stress you out? My sweater is on backwards and inside out, and you say how appropriate

Photo: Yelena Yekchuk


Last night I spent a while chatting to my dad on Skype. He was on the family computer in the hallway and I was on King Arthur (my laptop) in my bedroom. All sorted for international communications. Go technology.

The fantastic Hammie tagged me to do a Q &A. Thank you :) So let's talk about me some, shall we?

Here are the guidelines:
1. Respond and rework. Answer the questions on your blog, replace one question you dislike with a question of your own invention; add a question of your own.
2. Tag eight other un-tagged people.

What is your current obsession? Planning trips around Europe and my first couple of months in Spain. Google maps is my friend.

Good fika place (That would be coffee to us non-Swedes)? I go to so many cafes and none of them really stand out for coffee quality. I usually go for the atmosphere( coughhotwaiterscough) and then fill my bitter coffee with sugar.

Do you nap a lot? No, I hate having to get up again.

Who was the last person you hugged? My mum. Then it somehow turned into a fight and my favourite earring broke.

What’s for dinner?
Te: Mum, what's for dinner?
Mum: Whatdoya think?
Te: I don't know that's why I'm asking
Mum: Well you saw what was on the bench!
Te: A pumpkin?
Mum: Merlot served with mash potatos.
Te: Oh, I give up.

What was the last thing you bought? About ten pairs of new underwear. Hello Spain.

What are you listening to right now? The microwave hum, I guess mum is heating up that merlot.

What is your favourite weather? Clear sunny sky and a cool breeze.

What’s on your bedside table? Right this moment? Lipgloss, two bottles of water, panadol, tissues, nail polish remover and a couple of stray bobby pins. Do you feel like you know me now?

Say something to the person/s who tagged you. Hammie you are an inspiration as a mother and a blogger. I think you are superb.

If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you want it to be? Oh, this is one of the most difficult questions you could ask me, along with 'which of your friends would you kill for food if stranded on an island'. I guess I'd have to say Edinburgh..or Paris..no Edinburgh...Paris..Edin..

Favourite vacation spot? I'm not sure I have a favourite 'vacation spot' I've never been on 'vaction' to the same place more than once. But as you can tell from above I really like Paris and Edinburgh. I guess my ideal vacation spot would be somewhere not too hot and with lots of little cobblestone streets to get lost down. There would be no american tourists..or obonxious Australians for that matter; none of the locals would be rude to me when I attempted to buy tampons in their language; there might be some mountains..perhaps an old ruin or two for me to climb up to; maybe some tall, dark and handsome men who know how to use swords, make sushi and excellent coffee...shall I stop now?

What would you like to get rid of? The necessity for money...? My birthmark maybe..

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go? Into the future perhaps..

What did you want to become as a child? My answer is almost exactly the same as Hammie's: A Vet then an Actress. Although, I changed my mind about the Vet thing after watching Animal Hospital and I realised that Vets have to put animals down. The actress thing just died a slow death due to High School drama classes.

What do you miss? If you were asking me this question in two months time I'd probably have lots to say. I suppose I miss the carefree feeling of being a child, when I trusted everyone and would try anything.

What are you reading right now? Cringe. Spanish guide books. Oh, and lots and lots of blogs.

What's your favourite brand of jeans? Don't have a favourite brand. Not even sure I could name the brand of the jeans I'm wearing. I found a hole in the crotch of them today, shattered.

If you could go back in time and talk to your 17 year old self, what would you say?
Oh, this is another hard one. I'd have so much to say to my 13 year old self, but by 17..well there's nothing much that I would change. Maybe I'd tell myself not to kiss that Australian guy in Paris. Ew.

My Question: Which one of your friends would you kill if....just kidding..
What/who do you think you were in a past life? Mentally insane. :)

Since I recently did some tagging, and I'm not sure that I have eight new people to tag, I'm going to throw this out to every person on my blog links. Please send me a link to the post if you do fill it out, I'd love to read about you all.

Melbourne related posts to come, just waiting for a good mood to strike.

If I don't say this now I will surely break; as I'm leaving the one I want to take

Sometimes I really annoy myself by being so stubborn and proud. Sometimes everyone else annoys me because I am so stubborn and proud. That's all I have for today.

Photo: Peter Guenzel

She had problems with drinking milk and being school tardy

Oh, I feel so sorry for myself. I'm getting sick and feeling low. Kings of Leon are the soundtrack to my sulkage. You'd think that a good cure for a bad mood would be listening to cheerful music, and yet I like to cultivate the misery by wallowing in music that makes me cry. Like..Hometown Glory by Adele, or With or Without you by U2..Look after you by the Fray... anything that Damien Rice sings..even Wild Horses by the Rolling Stones if I'm feeling particularly mopey. Is mopey a word? I feel another playlist coming on..suggestions? Do you guys have any songs/artists you listen to when you're feeling sorry for yourself?

Let's just look at some blurry Melbourne, shall we?



Photos: By me.

Here you come a-knocking, knocking on my door; I've never met a girl like you before

Photo: By me

I've decided to dedicate this month to blogging about the amazing city I will soon be leaving.

It's the Month of Melbourne.

I have lived in eleven houses, in five towns, in three countries; Melbourne is without a doubt the best place I have ever lived; the Gold Coast is without a doubt the worst. New Zealand had its fair share of cons, but could never live up to the horror of the GC. Norfolk, England had its pros, but could never, ever, top Melbourne. I lived in New Zealand and on the Gold Coast for longer, but when people ask me where I'm from when I'm in Spain, I'll say Melbourne. I've only lived here for four years but it feels like home. Anyway, I'm going to post this now, before it gets too sentimental and I cry and decide that I don't want to move to Europe anymore. Blame the PMS, always blame it.

So, I wrote that this morning before work. Now I'm home from work and have had such a crap afternoon that I feel like complaining about Melbourne. Of course my tram line has to have some kind of problem which leaves me standing in the rain for almost an hour, freezing cold and tired. It took me two hours to get home from work. I spent longer getting to and from work today than I did actually making money. I hate you Melbourne. No...no, it's not true. I love you, I do.

No sleeping at night, but I'm going from bar to bar

Paolo Nutini? Yes please.

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