Monday, August 17, 2009

Like a waterfall in slow motion, like a map with no ocean. There's a limit to your love.

Okay, so nobody is reading my blog anymore so I suppose my indecisiveness has bored everyone to tears; it is boring me to tears, almost literally. The problem is I don't have a passion. Before I left Australia my passion was going to Spain, planning for Spain, talking about Spain, blogging about..Spain. It's nice and easy to live with passion driving you, it's pretty much blind enthusiasm. Even if you want something which only exists in your head, at least you want something.
I'm in a pretty crappy place at the moment, not physically..well, having to pay for wireless in a hostel is pretty crap, but I was referring to my mental state. I have no idea where I want to go, what I want to do... NO IDEA. I have been looking around online for jobs in Scotland for the past week or so, but I'm not so sure I really want to work in a hotel changing peoples' dirty bed sheets. I've always wanted to work in a traditional pub, but I'm fairly sure the idea I have of the job is extremely romanticised; realistically it'd be hard work and bad pay. Oh listen to me complaining, goodbye few readers I still have. Pretty sure most of you are my uni friends anyway...stop just reading my damn blog for updates, write me an email, lousy loserfaces. Sorry..

Okay, well, my options are:

1. Stay in Scotland. Get a job in a hotel or a bar. Live here for 3-6 months.

2. Get a winter resort job in childcare from Nov-April.

3. Go back to Spain and get a teaching English job Sep-June.

4. Go back to Melbourne, live with my parents and sulk.

5. Become a gypsy and tell peoples' fortunes on the side of the Scottish highland roads.

Yeah, number 4. is just there to put things in perspective.

A friend from Cambridge is coming to visit today. I am probably going to scare him with my extreme happiness to have company. That'll be amusing.

Photo: Oezguer Albayrak


  1. Dont be too down, working holidays are tough and youre pretty brave for doin it one your own! (btw i still read ur blog (:)

  2. Stay strong, Te!

    More than ever, you need to ignite the strength from with as soon as possible!

  3. I'm still reading!! I just never know what to say =(

    Myabe do something you've NEVER thought to do before? Maybe you'll like it? Be a tour guide?

    Although the Winter resort gig sounds kinda cool!

    <3 I'll send you an email too. Just because I love that ;)

  4. okay so mayb i should comment more often to make you feel less loner. i still read your blog.

    you may have no idea but you have a 5 step plan! 5 step plans never fail!
    heh heh.

    won't you have to be cleaning up vomit with the bar job? isn't dirty sheets better than vomit?
    ah, anyway good luck with job hunting! :)

  5. oh man when on earth did you go to Scotland!! This is insane... to me, being able to go to all sorts of awesome places and actually live there without having your future set is well... a bit of a dream of mine. ;p but i suppose that's the green-grass-syndrome.

    In some ways you could look at it as life presenting you with a plate of really incredible opportunities... even if you're not sure what you'd like to do in the long term, it's worth it just treasuring this period of not knowing... because then there're always possibilities... roads to take... options to choose from and whatever you get out of it will be an adventure in itself.

    hope you'll eventually figure things out for yourself! in the meantime, do tell me (us) more about Scotland... X) how's the weather? how're the people? haha ok i'll have to read the past gazillion entries of yours that i've missed since ages ago!! ;) maybe you've already answered those questions...

    and don't be silly dear, now that i'm back, add me on the list of consistent readers.

  6. hey there just thought id tell you that im a new blog and doing worry about being in a bad place at the moment somehow youll work things out. okay some advise, see what jobs there are that you enjoy like i know everyone thiks that working in a shop is a rubbish job but actually if you like fashion working in somewhere like topshop can be really good fun! also you are very lucky to live in scotland! i live in england and i just love scotland! the accent, the people, and there is so much to do! also its great having a friend over, if you talk to him, he could help you put things in perspective and help you out with ideas what to do about your job situation. i hope everything goes well for you x