Monday, August 10, 2009

But it's just the price I pay, destiny is calling me..

I have no idea what the hell I’m doing. Here I am in a new country, again. Where I know nobody, again. No job lined up, again! Why do I keep doing this to myself? In the 7 weeks since I was in this position last I seem to have forgotten how lost it makes me feel. I am already idealising my time in Cambridge, suddenly the students were all little angels, the weather was perfect, the work was easy and my workmates and I were all BFFs.

So who has tips for Edinburgh? I am sitting in my hostel, drinking a beer and feeling sorry for myself. I’ve only been here a day but I’m stressed about the lack of a job. I’m just going to pretend that I am not myself, I am someone else, and I am giving advice to this someone else. I’d say ‘stop your complaining and do something to help yourself, put down the crisps and the half pint of Stella and photocopy your CV'. I used to be the Queen of Plans. Making plans are easy it seems, but sticking to them once you realise things aren’t how you expected them to be is more difficult. I mean, what the hell happened to Spain? I’m justifying it to myself by saying I’ll take Spanish classes here in Edinburgh, but it’s not really the same thing now, is it?

I walked to Arthur's seat today. I love that place. I wrote my name on a rock, just a random rock at the top of a hill thing I climed up (in my thongs). I feel guilty about writing on a rock now.

Why am I listening to the Killers? I don't even like them. Now would be the time for a sign….waiting for a sign….

Photo: Oezguer Albayrak


  1. Go somewhere you haven't been. Walk into a store you don't know. Tell a story that isn't yours. Create a person who isn't you. Be someone else. For a day. Make it up as you go along.

    Change your CV, make it up. For the more casual jobs are they really going to call Australia?

    I hope you find something that works for you :) x

  2. signs oh boy do i know about those...
    so once upon a time when i was on my 5th cocktail in a bar in Bali I looked at a tv screen and there was a cricket match on (ashes apparently). The fact that it was Australia V's England was a good enough sign to make me go.
    Your life rules.
    Yep print of yo muthha f'n cv. have fun, get a job because there are some of us back in Australia who are having to spend their days learning how to 'define health'
    I have brain dammage
    I guess I dont need to actually say who this is from.
    much LOVE

  3. Also. I'll be in England or that area anyways for NYE... If you're still there we should go nuts!